All I want for Xmas is change

All I want for Xmas is change.

Simply stated, I want racist, homophobic, misogynistic men to change their attitude.

I want them to look in the mirror and see who they really are, to see whom they hurt, and change their way of thinking and being.

What a wonderful Xmas, and wonderful world, it would be if this Xmas wish could come true.


Applauding two Emmy winners

I don’t want this post to be considered in any way a put down of two Emmy winners — Big Little Lies and The Handmaid’s Tale. I liked BLL and loved THT, both the books and TV series, and think they were more than deserving of their Emmy nominations and victories.

What I find interesting is that both shows dealt with repression and abuse of women by, guess who? Straight, white men. And I don’t blame them for doing so in one bit because, sadly, repression and abuse of women by SWM is one of the major stories women have to tell.

I for one look forward to the day when it isn’t. When women can tell other stories. Stories of victory and power and success. I am not saying they can’t tell such stories today. I am saying when oppression and abuse is your primary story line, that is what you would tend to tell stories about.

How long did it take the story in the book and movie Hidden Figures to be told? So it’s not like women do not have such stories to tell. But it takes extraordinary circumstances for women to participate fully in various aspects of life. And then when they do, their stories tend to be swept under the carpet…

….The war is over. You women can go back to child rearing, cooking and cleaning….

So congratulations to Big Little Lies and The Handmaid’s Tale for their Emmy nominations and wins. May we see many more stories by women with a strong female cast. Such shows sure beat the hell out of watching men kill and blow shit up! The Brits often do it so well, great female-centric stories with strong women at the core. Engaging and entertaining viewing. And of course recently their was Wonder Woman, so maybe their is hope yet for the American entertainment market, and perhaps that will slowly influence the kind of society we are — a far more fair and equitable one.

Now that would be a story worth living!

Sad little lives without the joy found in the embrace of others

I am so angry. Angry at my kind, and myself. Angry that my kind are such jerks, idiots and assholes. Angry that it has take me so long to wake up to the injustice in this world perpetrated by my kind.

I have worked hard to become a successful freelance writer and business writing trainer. I feel I have earned every bit of my success through my hard work. But do you know what I have never had to work hard to do? I have not had to work hard, not had to work at all, to overcome… My gender. My race. My sexual orientation.

And do you know who makes race, gender and sexual orientation an issue? Straight white men. At least in western society. There are countries where one would have to replace white, but keep the straight and men.

When I think of women who have succeeded, people of colour who have done well, members of the LGBQT who have achieved… I think of the roadblocks and barriers they have had to overcome, as a group and as individuals. It’s a bit of a cliché, I know, but they have had to work twice as hard to achieve half as much… Yes, things have gotten better over time, but what a struggle! What a battle! And I dare say, it’s not over.

What I want to know is who proclaimed SWM king?

I am not saying that every SWM has political or economic power. I am saying it is SWM who have the power, and cling to it tenaciously. Look at the civil rights movement in the USA. Who oppressed African Americans? Look at the women’s movement? Who oppressed women? Look at the fight for equal rights for gays and lesbians. Who were the oppressors? Look at the battles these groups, and the QT community, fight today. Who are the oppressors?

I can say with a relatively clear conscious that I am probably one of the least oppressive SWM going, but it took me a long time to realize just how oppressive a group SWM were, and are. Even if you are a SWM who holds little or no political or economic power, there is a good chance you hold domestic power. Or that you are the one who abuses women, children and even other men. You are the one marching in right wing neo-Nazi rallies in the US, and even in Canada.

All I can do is ask, ‘Why?’ What do you get out of it? What do you get out of alienating and oppressing two thirds of your world? What do you achieve though mindless hate?

And even if, like me, you were not an oppressor, how can you not see what is going on? How can you remain silent in the face of … Of what? Absurdity? For that is what the need to rule is. Absurd.

Guess what? You are flesh and blood. Guess what? You are going to die. Do you really want your legacy to be, “He oppressed, abused, shut out others and proved himself to be a real jerk”? Because that is what you are… And for what?

SWM, you have a choice. Love and be loved. Share and reap the benefits of community. Or continue to try to hold on to what you perceive as power and… gain nothing.

How you should be, how you should want to be, seems clear to me. Either that or I am just a defective SWM. Well guess what? I’ll take my defects over your absurd existence any day.

Women, people of colour, members of the LGBQT community, don’t let us get in your way. The fact is, we don’t have what you want. What we have is shallow and transient. So don’t envy us. If we won’t let you in, find your way without us. We don’t have what you need. We are just petty, shallow, ignorant beings. Do not envy or emulate us, because we’ve made a mess of it! Be who you are. Laugh at our absurdity. I suspect that, more than anything else, will really piss off SWM. What? You don’t want what we hold dear?

And if there is something we deserve, it is to be pissed off — to be shown our thirst for power and dominance cannot buy us happiness and is something that is not envied. Instead, it leads to sad little lives.

And above all else, I suspect that is what makes me the angriest: though exclusion and oppression, SWM have chosen to live sad little lives without the joy that can be found in the embrace of others. Absurd. Beyond absurd.

As a SWM I am denouncing…

As a SWM I am denouncing anyone who is racist, homophobic, sexist, or who engages in physical or emotional oppression of any kind.

In particular, I am denouncing all SWMs who are racist, homophobic, sexist or who engage in physical or emotional oppression.

Why in particular? You have the power, and you are abusing it.

I am asking such people to look in the mirror. What do you see? Someone composed of flesh and bones. Some who bleeds if cut. Someone who breathes, eats, sleeps and I suspect craves loves and affection. Someone just like the people you oppress.

Do you really want to be loathed and hated? What do you gain when you make others hate and fear you?

I suggest that such people imagine themselves living in a country populated only by others of the same mindset… I am going to suggest that you will miss us, those who think and behave differently. I am suggesting that your utopia will only last maybe a week before it descends into a dystopia as you find ways to divide your population and oppress others of the same ilk.

I am asking you to dig deep and change your loathsome ways. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by how it makes you feel, about how much more rewarding your lives will become when you learn to celebrate and embrace the differences that should unite, not divide us. Live and let live. Love and be loved.

The alternative makes no sense whatsoever. None at all.

Been a while since I’ve written about honorable men

It’s been a while since I’ve written about honorable, or dishonorable, men. There are two reasons for this. First off, I have MS and it is having an impact on my getting off my ass and writing. You can read more about it here.

More importantly, and sadly, this blog is supposed to be a call for men to act honorably towards women, children and other men. It was going to do that by pointing out dishonorable acts and calling for change… Sadly, it is overwhelming and disheartening how frequently men commit dishonorable acts. There is no freakin’ end in sight! I’d have to blog daily, hell, several times a day, to cite all the dishonorable acts men commit.

Yes, there are honorable men out there. But the crimes men commit against women, children and other men is seemingly endless. I have yet to read something that explains why this happens. Is it nature or nurture, or a bit of both? Whatever it is, I don’t see anyone with any authority truly taking steps to put an end to abuse — emotional, physical, sexual…

Oh there are penalties for committing crimes. But that is like closing the barn door after that horses have escaped. I see no real preventative actions being taken. It is almost as if we, as a society, are complicit in the dishonorable acts committed by men.

Until governments of all stripes start to take action, education would be a good place to start, I suspect there will be no end to the onslaught. With that in mind, on behalf of my gender I apologies for the ongoing abuse. I really don’t know what else to say, other than to tell men that they are really messing up their lives and the lives of others by their actions…

I am not so naive as to expect everybody in the world to live in perfect harmony, but the current state of disharmony is overwhelming and I feel that more men, and women, should speak out about just how unacceptable it is, and call for honorable change.

Gun violence in America: the stats

I wonder why America is such a gun violent society? Considering how geographically close Canada is the the US, I wonder how we managed to escape the need to use guns. Not saying people never get shot in Canada, but Canadians are nothing like Americans when it comes to gun violence. Here are some of the stats:

  • On average, there are nearly 12,000 gun homicides a year in the USA.
  • On an average day, 93 Americans are killed by guns.
  • 62% of the gun deaths are suicides. Does that mean the problem is not as deeply entrenched as it seems at first blush?
  • At the same time, 7 children and teens are killed each day…
  • And in an average month 50 women are shot to death by intimate partners.

Such carnage! Most of it preventable. Just take the guns away. Melt them down.

But… If they didn’t have guns, would Americans find other ways to kill themselves, each other and women and children? What could be behind this epidemic? Poverty? Ignorance? A lack of education? Some kind of existential crisis? An inability to use words to resolve conflicts? A bizarre need to dominate? The simple availability of guns? … Don’t know that there is a simple answer. There are solutions proposed. Mostly they involve restricting the availability of guns. And such solutions are vehemently opposed.

I guess the gun lobby, the people who profit from the sale of guns, want to protect their profits. I know, they hide their opposition under the guise of a constitutional right. If you buy that, you have probably also invested in swamp land in Florida.

It seems that it is easier to carry a gun in the US than it is to smoke in public. It makes no sense to me. But then I guess I’m just a naive Canuck who can’t understand why a man would want to kill a woman, child or other man.

Donald Trump, the president of the US, has taken to calling terrorists “losers”. And I agree, they are mentally and emotionally deficient losers. But if he scoped out his own backyard, he would sadly find his country is full of losers, and people who are only too happy to profit from them.

We Wonder Women how many ways men can prove themselves idiots

The richest country in the world is run by a man who has no women in significant positions. And yet when a theater in Austin, Texas decides to screen the first major female-led superhero movie of the 21st century, Wonder Woman, for an all female audience, men protest and claim discrimination.

Really guys, with all the shit that is going on in the world these days, this is where you draw the line?

To mark the premier of Wonder Woman, the dine-in theater chain Alamo Drafthouse announced an all-female screening of the film at their Austin location—and when they said “all-female,” they meant it, promising not just a women-only audience, but also female projectionists, chefs, and other theater staff. And as the first quickly sold out, they added another.

What a marvelous idea. Kudos to whomever came up with it.

These all-female screenings are not the only screenings of Wonder Woman that Alamo is offering. In other words, men can go to the movie. Still, a group of men managed to say, ‘How can I make this about me?’ They took to social media to protest that all-female screenings as “discrimination” and a serious blow to “equality.”

Right. Don’t know how equality or the egos of men will ever survive such a blow.

To its credit, Alamo responded to these critics by adding even more all-female screenings at its theaters across the country, which are selling out rapidly. Proceeds from certain screenings are even going toward Planned Parenthood.

Meanwhile, the protesting men just look like, well, idiots.

Why don’t you just buy a case of beer and invite your fellow neanderthal friends over to watch some stupid sporting event.

Tell you what, the only reason I’d want to go to the all female screening (and I would not ask to go!) is so that I would not have to sit in the theater with the likes of you.

Seriously, look in the mirror. I suspect you will see a butt crack staring back.

I could be wrong, but I could not imagine women giving a shit if you want to hold an all male screening of Thor.

God, how did we as a gender ever manage to survive our stupidity?