I am so angry. Angry at my kind, and myself. Angry that my kind are such jerks, idiots and assholes. Angry that it has take me so long to wake up to the injustice in this world perpetrated by my kind.
I have worked hard to become a successful freelance writer and business writing trainer. I feel I have earned every bit of my success through my hard work. But do you know what I have never had to work hard to do? I have not had to work hard, not had to work at all, to overcome… My gender. My race. My sexual orientation.
And do you know who makes race, gender and sexual orientation an issue? Straight white men. At least in western society. There are countries where one would have to replace white, but keep the straight and men.
When I think of women who have succeeded, people of colour who have done well, members of the LGBQT who have achieved… I think of the roadblocks and barriers they have had to overcome, as a group and as individuals. It’s a bit of a cliché, I know, but they have had to work twice as hard to achieve half as much… Yes, things have gotten better over time, but what a struggle! What a battle! And I dare say, it’s not over.
What I want to know is who proclaimed SWM king?
I am not saying that every SWM has political or economic power. I am saying it is SWM who have the power, and cling to it tenaciously. Look at the civil rights movement in the USA. Who oppressed African Americans? Look at the women’s movement? Who oppressed women? Look at the fight for equal rights for gays and lesbians. Who were the oppressors? Look at the battles these groups, and the QT community, fight today. Who are the oppressors?
I can say with a relatively clear conscious that I am probably one of the least oppressive SWM going, but it took me a long time to realize just how oppressive a group SWM were, and are. Even if you are a SWM who holds little or no political or economic power, there is a good chance you hold domestic power. Or that you are the one who abuses women, children and even other men. You are the one marching in right wing neo-Nazi rallies in the US, and even in Canada.
All I can do is ask, ‘Why?’ What do you get out of it? What do you get out of alienating and oppressing two thirds of your world? What do you achieve though mindless hate?
And even if, like me, you were not an oppressor, how can you not see what is going on? How can you remain silent in the face of … Of what? Absurdity? For that is what the need to rule is. Absurd.
Guess what? You are flesh and blood. Guess what? You are going to die. Do you really want your legacy to be, “He oppressed, abused, shut out others and proved himself to be a real jerk”? Because that is what you are… And for what?
SWM, you have a choice. Love and be loved. Share and reap the benefits of community. Or continue to try to hold on to what you perceive as power and… gain nothing.
How you should be, how you should want to be, seems clear to me. Either that or I am just a defective SWM. Well guess what? I’ll take my defects over your absurd existence any day.
Women, people of colour, members of the LGBQT community, don’t let us get in your way. The fact is, we don’t have what you want. What we have is shallow and transient. So don’t envy us. If we won’t let you in, find your way without us. We don’t have what you need. We are just petty, shallow, ignorant beings. Do not envy or emulate us, because we’ve made a mess of it! Be who you are. Laugh at our absurdity. I suspect that, more than anything else, will really piss off SWM. What? You don’t want what we hold dear?
And if there is something we deserve, it is to be pissed off — to be shown our thirst for power and dominance cannot buy us happiness and is something that is not envied. Instead, it leads to sad little lives.
And above all else, I suspect that is what makes me the angriest: though exclusion and oppression, SWM have chosen to live sad little lives without the joy that can be found in the embrace of others. Absurd. Beyond absurd.